Wednesday, February 24, 2010

It Really Is Well.............

Yesterday was an absolutely fascinating and interesting day.

First off, Johanna would have been 4 months old has she lived.  As a Mom it's kind of a neat accomplishment to count off each new month with your baby.  Each month is a stepping stone to that 1st BDay, to crawling, to walking, to talking, etc.  But when your baby dies each month is like counting all the things that you've missed. It's been such a short and long time all at the same time.  But I also thought yesterday that it's like counting down the days until I get to be with Johanna again in Heaven.

Other than all the conflicted emotions around JoJo's 4 month BDay I also went to 2 seperate funerals.  To be more precise 1 funeral and 1 receiving.  I havn't been to a funeral since Johanna's.  I will confess that I did not want to go to either......at all.  I wanted to stay home in my sloppies and read a book.  That's what Nikki wanted to do.  But being the wonderful pastor's wife that I am(insert laughter here because that's just down right hilarious) I soldiered on.  Do you feel sorry for me yet?  Nah, I wouldn't either.

The funeral service was in honor/memory(honor seems more appropriate for a Christian) of a local retired pastor that was a member at our church.  He had pastored several churches in our area and had been the interim/supply pastor at many others.  I didn't know him well as he had a stroke a few years before we were priviliged to begin serving at Calvary.  Our church choir sang in the service today.  The second song that we sang was "It Is Well" by Horatio Spafford.  This pastor's wife began to physically praise the Lord while the choir was singing.  She didn't shout or let out a holy scream.  I looked towards her and noticed that she was weeping(not unusual at a funeral) and then the most amazing thing.  She raised a shaky hand in praise and adoration to our Lord.  This lady that was going to the cemetery in a few moments to say a finaly goodbye to her husband, this same lady who has buried 2 daughters in days gone by, was able to offer praise to the Lord.  I was amazed.  I don't think this pastor's wife will ever know how she helped my breaking heart.

And then last night our family had an impromptu family dinner.  All seven of us were able to get together about 8pm for dinner.  Our schedules are so different that it's often very hard to get us all free at the same time.  It was a great way to end up the day.  We laughed like hyennas at Clayton and the way he is pronouncing some of his words.

3 comments:

Kelly said...

What a precious testimony that dear pastor's wife has. Wow, I'm sitting here bawling!

Praying for you Nikki as you continue to grieve. {{hugs}}

Jennifer said...

You are a special, strong lady!! God has used you just like that lady was used in your life to touch so many of us, thank you for not giving up (even tough its not been easy). Thank you for being such an example of His mercy,grace and love. I love you girl and am still praying for you as you face this "new normal" life set before you! ~Jennifer

Holly said...

How amazing...

I haven't been to a funeral yet since Carleigh's. I'm not sure how it would go, especially if it was the one we used.