First off, Johanna and I have an appointment at my regular OB tomorrow at 8:30am. It's a standard appointment to check a few of my vitals, and to check for Johanna's heartbeat. Obviously Chad and I are anxious about the appointment. We want Johanna to still have a good strong heartbeat. I know that she is not a healthy baby, and that she may not live to be born, and if she does she will not live long after she is born. The mommy in me wants to be able to hold her before she goes to be with Jesus. We may not get what we want, but God is great and sufficient for whatever tomorrow brings.
Second, I have 2 praise reports related to Johanna that I really want to share with you. Before you read, please don't think that I have given up, or that I am over consumed with Johanna's death. I know that God can heal her if He chooses, but I also believe that He just may be doing something bigger than healing our baby. I don't know what that is, but I am willing to go with Him and see what He has for me.
OK, here goes the praises. Number 1, there is a funeral home in Lenoir that offers free funerals to infants 1 and under. That's good news. Funerals are expensive, no life insurance company is going to give a terminal infant life or funeral insurance. God has met a need that we don't even have yet. Isn't that amazing? Number 2, a very sweet lady that I have known for a number of years, has offered to make Johanna a dress to be buried in. This lady makes fantastic dresses. Think Strasburg Children type dresses. She is a fantastic seamstress, and in fact makes lots of clothes for her grandchildren. Her stuff is Be-A-Utiful. I am very grateful that someone would offer their time for our daughter. God's love is amazing, and is shown so differently sometimes. These are 2 minor needs that I have prayed about recently, and have seen God work them out in fantastic ways. Thank you God.
I wanted to share all of that with you for a couple of different reasons. Ya'll are praying for us, and deserve to know how your prayers are being answered. Also, everyday is not easy, everyday is not good. But God has a way of making things easy for us. I can't explain it, but if you have ever been in God's working hand, then you know what I mean. I've said it before, but it bears repeating, God has a way of taking the difficulty out of difficulties.
I'm out, and headed to bed.
1 year ago
7 comments:
As hard as it is, sometimes God heals our loved ones by letting them go on to heaven to be with HIM. It is amazing to me to see how God is using Johanna for HIS purposes. She is already touching so many lives. I'm also praying that God will continually use to touch lives for HIM. God uses others besides preachers and missionaries to reach people. I was thrilled about the Handmade smocked dress also and could not wait to tell you.
I'll be praying for your appointment tomorrow and waiting for the blog to say how everything went.
God is so faithful isn't he? That is wonderful that two needs have been met. God is using you Nikki, to speak to so many, including myself, during this time in your life. You are a very strong lady!
Nikki, I'm praying that you will be able to hold your precious Johanna in your arms before she goes to Jesus. We serve a God who does the impossible! And I'm praying that the appointment goes well tomorrow!
Just a thought; could you make the burial dress from your wedding dress?
Nikki-I came to your blog through Kelly's Korner and I just want you to know that my family is praying for yours. We will continue to be "prayer warriors" for Johanna.
You have an amazing attitude and I am in awe of it! I will continue to pray:)
You never cease to amaze me. I love you and I am proud of you. To watch your faith blossom into full bloom is one of the greatest joys I have known in this world. I hurts me to see you in your pain. The Dad in me wants to fix it for you. I can't fix this, but I can love you and I can go with you as you and Chad walk together through this valley.
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