Since the hubs is the associate pastor at our church, we are sometimes afforded the privilege of going to local meetings. This week we have been to two services of a youth meeting at West Lenoir Baptist. I love going to this church. There Minister of Music(I'm not 100% sure if that's his title or not) is absolutely fantastic. His skill and discernment towards the will of God is amazing. He seems to be very sensitive to what the people need, and to what God is doing in the service. Both nights they have sung the song "I Have Been Blessed". I have heard it many times before, but it had so much more meaning. As I was rushing around(seriously we, all 3 of us, got up, showered, and out the door in under 40 minutes this morning) I was losing sight of the blessing that I have, and I began to feel the weight of the world crashing in. There was a lot that contributed to it that I don't want to type right now, because I don't want my mascara to run again(I really gotta invest in waterproof or invent tearproof). God's timing is so perfect.
When I got in my tee tiny car, God put this song in my head again. I'm sure glad He did. I needed something to help me so I wouldn't have a rotten day at work. I don't mind letting the emotions and their side effects come, but I don't have the type of job where I can let the happen at my desk. My patients might get frightened and leave. Since 4/21/09, the day we learned something wasn't quite right with Jo, I've been blessed in so many different ways. I still don't understand all that's going on, or why. But, I can now see God working in and around me. I now present to you my list of blessings that are a result of T18(it might be short, I'm learning but I haven't arrived yet).
- Growing closer to my Lord. It's only through the fire/trials/storms/hurricanes/valleys, whatever you want to call it, that we learn what God can do when we have no choice but to let Him work. I can't fix Johanna, or even do that much to help her, but He can do what He chooses.
- Meeting new bloggy buddies. I'm an Internet junkie, so that was my resource for information when the unthinkable became the definite. It's been nice to communicate with other that have experienced something similar, because no one we know or know of has been down this road.
- Learning a different side of myself. I've never been very calm or relaxed, and I'm still not, but God is teaching me how to live in this moment.
- Enjoying everything about Clayton. I have a different understanding about how precious and fragile life really is. I cling to every thing new that he does. My coworkers and parents are probably tired of hearing about him saying "Mattie"(Gram and Popa he did this morning, pointed at her and screeched "Mattie"), getting molars, and learning how to run.
- Realizing again how much my husband really loves me. He's been wonderful. I can't express how much easier this is with him holding my hand. He's been to every OB appointment, and even let's me pick where we eat when we go to Charlotte. And, tomorrow evening should we have "PF Chang's" or "On the Border"?
- Many ultrasounds. So far I have had 4, and will have #5 tomorrow. It's amazing to watch that little girl.
- Finally feeling her moving on a regular basis. I know that every time she kicks, or swirls, it might be the last, so in some way each bump is special. I can't wait until Chad can feel her moving. We couldn't remember when he first felt Clayton, but it shouldn't be too much longer.
- We've been blessed with a great OB. I just love him. If you live in the Morganton, Hickory, or Lenoir area, and you're looking for somebody I can hook you up. Email me, and I will seriously give you his deets. He's awesome.
- All the extra support we've been given by our family. They've been so helpful with Clayton, and keeping him just whenever we need something, or helping us with absolutely whatever we need.
- We've been reached out to by family, friends, and acquaintances of acquaintances in a way that is absolutely unimaginable. John Maxwell(among others) says "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care". And for us that's been true. I have talked to others though that have been left alone, or abandoned in their moment of need. That's a tragedy. We need each other. Even when you don't feel like you're saying or doing the right thing, your presence is usually enough. Knowing that we can count on you is enough.
I hope you are feeling as blessed today as I am. Even if your day doesn't go as you hope or pray that it will, know that God loves you, and He knows you very personally. And, if you don't know Him, you can. Shoot me an email, and I'll give you the 411, the deets, ...........the truth.
Verse 1: When He moves among us all that He does all of His mercy and all of His love and the pen of the writer could write everyday even this world could never contain how I've been blessed
Verse 2: The warmth in winter the flowers in spring the laughter in summer and the changing of leaves the food on my table a good place to sleep clothes on my back and shoes on my feet I have been blessed
Chorus: I have been blessed God's so good to me precious are His thoughts of you and me no way I could count them there's not enough time so I'll just thank Him for being so kind God has been good so good I have been blessed
Verse 3: Arms that will raise a voice that can talk hands that can touch and legs that can walk ears that can listen eyes that can see oh I've got to praise Him as long as I breathe I have been blessed
Verse 4: A father and mother who nurtured and raised a brother and sister memories made our pastor to lead us the altar to pray stripes that can heal the blood that can save I have been blessed
Chorus: I have been blessed God's so good to me precious are His thoughts of you and me no way I could count them there's not enough time so I'll just thank Him for being so kind God has been good so good I have been blessed
Verse 5: We live in a country the greatest on earth our flag stands for freedom and what it is worth she stands in the harbor Miss Liberty calls all have gave some but some have gave all for me to be blessed
Verse 6: He's my shoulder to lean on when I am down the rock where He leads me when I'm overwhelmed the place where He hides me under His wings He's not just a song He's the reason I sing I have been blessed
Chorus: I have been blessed God's so good to me precious are His thoughts of you and me no way I could count them there's not enough time so I'll just thank Him for being so kind God has been good so good I have been blessed
4 comments:
God used Evan to show me so much! While I don't believe Evan's purpose was to strengthen my relationship with God, God was able to use Evan for that purpose and so much more.
Oh, and I vote PF Changs. Like I have a vote, but Sean and I would go to PF Changs after every appointment to relax and digest everything we had just learned, oh and to really look at all the new ultrasound pictures we had just been given.
I love this song and have loved since the very first time I heard the Carswells sing it. It blesses my heart and makes me realize how much I am really blessed, I have the New Manna CD in the car and when I am a little down I listen to this song and it helps me every time. I love you guys so much! PS I love Clayton's molars too. Oh yea def PF Changs!
"Then and Only Then" as Bro Tom Gilliam taught us in the Spring revival this year is when God can work. When you have no where or no one else to lean on then God can work in your/our lives. What a Savior, and He blesses me and treats me like I am His only child. When we are at our lowest God can do a work in our lives that He could not otherwise do. Trials/heartaches are oh so painful but yet oh so sweet. The last couple of weeks God has been more real and sweeter to me than He ever has been before in my entire life. I thank HIM for that and I have been blest.
"Clayton",Gram and Poppa miss you terribly and can't wait to see you and give you a hug."Johanna" we pray for you daily to continue to impact this world the way God can get glory from your life.
I have never heard that song before but I love the lyrics.
Love ya Nikki. You & Chad both & of course Clayton.
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