Psalm 139 / JoJo Update

Psalm 139 has been one of my favorite Psalms for a number of years. However, since April verse 14 has taken on special meaning as it relates to Johanna. In fact Chad and I have decided to have this verse placed on her headstone when that time comes. It just feels so appropriate. My pastor(aka Dad) brought his sermon from Psalm 139 on Sunday evening. I was so excited when he told me that he was going to be preaching from this chapter, because I seriously have it memorized. I just love it.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14

You will notice the word "made" in this verse. I never knew until Sunday evening that this word actually has the meaning of being hand made. Like something your grandmother would spend a lot of time sewing, or your kids would use a lot of macaroni making. Something with a lot of love and attention. Something with a specific plan and design from the beginning. Do you get where I'm going? I've know cognitively since her T18 diagnosis that God made Jo the way He wanted her for a reason. But, I had never taken the time to reason out what all of that meant. After Sunday evening, I take it to mean that He hand picked(and by extension Chad and me) her to have an extra 18th chromosome in all of her cells. He chose to do it for something extra special. I can't remember, but I'm sure I've already said things to this effect on the blog before. But, it hit home in a different way Sunday evening. I think it finally hit me how much God loves her and me, to let us travel this road.

Also, the first part of the verse says "I will praise you". Will I praise God for making my baby this way? I want to, and some days(like today) I can. Will she praise Him? Absolutely. Most likely she will get to praise Him face to face, long before I ever will.

OK, enough random thinking for now.

I went for my 34 week appt today. Johanna has a great HB, still thumping along. It was easy to find, and came in loud and clear. Also, my OB seems to think Jo is still growing. That's a huge, major, big deal for T18 babies. A lot of times there is growth retardation in the later months, but so far she's surprising us all. We still think she's gonna be small, but that's OK too. She is what/how/who she is but God's specific design. I go back in 2 weeks for another appt, and this time we get the privilege of one last Ultrasound. It's hard to believe she'll be here in a short 5 weeks(unless of course God brings her to Him prior to that).

PS Sorry for the crazy insane spacing on today's post. Blogger sometimes has a mind of its own, and I can't seem to get it to cooperate and conform.