Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Loving and Learning..................

Today is a weird day.  Very strange indeed.  We were out late last night at WLBC's Bible Conference and didn't get in the bed until around 12:45.  Clayton went to sleep a little earlier but not much.  So the boys are still snoozing at the moment.  I'm sure any second now I will hear "Mama out" from Clayton's room.  Then we will proceed to ask for milk, Bob(Veggie Tales) and bite bites.  In that order.  And I will oblige, normally in that order.

It's crazy to think how simple and mostly necessary Clayton's requests are at this point.  He doesn't know, or is just now starting to learn, about the rigors and demands this world sometimes places, or we allow it to place, on us.  He doesn't know about the "need" for a newer car or a nicer and larger house.  Right now he's content to play in our 1100 square foot older home and ride in his Daddy's '02 truck.  He doesn't see the "need" for brand new clothes that aren't even on sale yet.  Right now he's content wearing his Goodwill finds, handy-me-downs, and super clearance steals.  At this point Clayton will eat whatever we put in front of him.  (Well he does that because he has no food restrictions and except on very rare occasions he eats what we eat or he does without.  It's a cruel world.)  He hasn't yet learned that there are other things on the menu besides chicken tenders and ketchup.

It's humbling to know that right now Chad and I control every single thing this child does.  It's an awesome process to shape a child.  He will grow and be like we shape him.  And then one day his wife, bless her heart, will have to deal with all the damage we have done(that's a joke please take it that way).  I don't consider myself an overprotective mother.  I do my best to let Clayton play and fall to learn.  How else is he supposed to learn that concrete hurts unless he falls on it?  I would rather him learn in a supervised manner than to be curious in 2 years and dive face first down the steps.

I was finishing a book earlier this morning(I love to read) and this thought hit me out of nowhere.  I can't teach him everything and I can't protect him from everything.  There are some things he will have to learn on his own.  Our parents had no way to teach Chad and me how to deal with a chronic illness when we were growing up.  They hadn't dealt with that.  Mom and Dad and my In-laws had no way to teach us how to bury a child.  They have not had to do that just yet(and hopefully never will).  I was just awestruck at the power and responsibility parenting has and doesn't have all at the same time.  I only have a few years to mold Clayton in to the man I think the Lord would have him to be.  We don't have long to teach him manners, respect, love, responsibility, joy, and all the other things that as parents we want our children to know before they leave the nest.

But are all the things we want to teach our children important if we don't ever teach or exhibit the love of God?  How can we teach about love if we never show the love of God?  I don't mean the Sunday School version of God's love.  That is an important aspect of God's love but His love is so much deeper than that.  To wrap your mind around a Father that would love others that actually hated Him so very much that He would willingly give His son away to buy the haters back is an awesome thought.  And then when that Son accomplished His duties the Father was so disgusted(?), hurt(?), angered(?) at what He saw that He had to turn away from His Son.  But remember the Son had done NOTHING wrong.  But then, when the price was paid, the Father joyfully accepted the Son's payment for something the Son didn't even do.  Amazing!  I can't begin to fathom all that God and Christ must have mentally endured those days of Christ's earthly ministry, crucifiction, and resurrection.

While it was painful to watch my daughter die the scenario was obviously completely different.  Johanna didn't atone for anyone's sin and didn't pardon anything.  She had simply served the purpose(and I'm still learning that purpose and probably always will be) she was created for and God brought her to Himself.  But Christ did atone and He also accomplished His task.   

I know this was random, disjointed, and all over the map.  But it's what was on my mind this morning.  I felt like I had to let it free.

And I hear a little red head beginning to stir in his room.


Kelly said...

Great thoughts! Thanks for sharing them!

Jamie Lynn said...

Blogger needs a like button!