The Vows I Should Have Said!

Traditional Wedding Vows:
I, take you, to be mine, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

What I should have said:

I promise to sleep in the middle of the bed.  I promise to let my hair collect in the drain for you to have to rip apart and use that snake thingy.  I promise to attempt to make dinner at least once a week......month.  I promise that the dog will only sleep in the bed when you're out of town, and then I won't tell you about it.  I promise to slowly and systematically rid your wardrobe of western attire, including but not limited to, Wrangles jeans in the "Rodeo Cut".  I promise to accept your strange fascination with 1950's and 1960's New York Yankees.  I promise to be as big of an Alabama Crimson Tide fan as you are.  I promise to never let our house run out of Dt. SunDrop and pickles.  I promise to never attempt to mow the grass or use the weed eater.

The things you have no idea about when you say "I Do" are so exciting.