Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I Wish........................

When I started this blog, I purposed within myself to always be honest. And, when we learned of Johanna's T18, and I decided to share with everyone our story I again decided to be honest with what I was feeling and going through. With that in mind I have a wish list today. Just random stuff, but important to me at this very moment. And, it's my blog so I can post it.

  • I wish, people wouldn't trivialize what Chad and I are facing. Yes, we are OK with what God is doing, NO we don't always like it just yet. I guess I just don't like people telling me that God is going to heal Johanna. I know God will heal her, but His healing is often different than our "idea" of healing. A home in Heaven, away from the hurt of this world is a better healing than having to stay here.
  • I wish, I could be blatantly honest when others start complaining about their physical problems. I'm talking about things like a sinus headache, a slight catch in the back, seasonal allergies. I'm tired of hearing about it. That's rude though. Their stuff seems petty to me right now, but then again those are real problems, and they are real to whomever is going through them.
  • I wish I could leave work right now and go get a pedicure and a massage. My boys got me a prenatal massage for Mother's Day, so I really need to schedule that appointment.
  • I wish Johanna didn't have T18.
  • I wish I could stop wishing for the previous wish to not be a wish. (That's a confusing sentence.)
  • I wish I were back in my bed taking a long nap. I plan to do just that later this afternoon.
  • I wish I could always be on top, never on bottom. But, if I never saw the bottom, would I recognize the top? Nope.
  • I wish I could give Clayton the world. He'll have to settle for all my love. So far, he seems to be happy with that.
  • I wish I could spend more time with my brother and my 2 SIL's.(He's not married to 2 women, just 1, and then Chad has a sister, see 2 SIL's)
  • I wish I could take Chad's Type 1 Diabetes away so that he wouldn't have to deal with that all the time. I wish he didn't have to be concerned about seriously low blood sugar. But, then again, the challenges associated with diabetes has brought us closer to each other, and closer to our Lord. Same thing with Jo's T18.
  • I wish I could have Johanna long enough to get her ears pierced. I know it's silly.
  • I wish I had a cinnamon roll right now. I want the Pillsbury kind that you twist into a little cord. They are more like a crescent roll than a Cinnamon Roll, but with all the sweetness of a cinnamon roll. Yummy.
  • I wish I could express my gratitude and love to all of you who have been so kind to us. You may never know how much help you've been. Thanks!
  • I wish my Jesus would come back today. Wouldn't that be awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

I needed to get that off my chest. Thanks for letting me vent a little. I just want to be honest all the time.


Joan Carr said...

I wish I could make all your wishes come true.

Courtney said...

I remember a few of those wishes being my own when I was pregnant with Hallie. Especially everyone telling me that she would be "just fine" and "those doctors don't know what they're talking about" .. It got so frustrating. Even more so when I'd hear pregnant women complaining .. It just made me want to scream!

Keeping you guys and your sweet little one in my thoughts and prayers..I wish neither of us (or anyone!) knew the pain of T18.

A said...

You are in my prayers! I wish I could make your wishes come true!

Brittany and Charlie said...

Understandable in every way!

Anonymous said...

Well if that just doesnt bring a tear to my dry eyes..I am laying in bed with a tummy virus..and havent been drinking all the fluids I need to see a tear..I am ok.
I wish that all your wishes would somehow come true...
one of your wishes was that you wish "Jesus would come back today"
..if that is the first will get all your other wishes erased.
Praying for you..

Jamie Lynn said...

I wish some of the same things as you haha (some, only because I don't need a prenatal massage haha)..

I also wish I could spend more time with you too!!! Because you are AMAZING!!! :)

Love You!

Phil said...

Amen on the last one; and the take the Diabetes away :) We love you guys!

Monica said...

Keep being real. You are right. It is your blog. I have used my blog to just get stuff out. It feels better when it is out. We may not know God's plan until we are on our knees before Him, and that is so hard. It is also hard to hear people complain about being up all night with their baby because I would do anything to be up all night with my baby. There is no way around this all just being hard. I am praying for you.

Preachersgirl3491 said...

I just love your face ( and the rest of you that is just the phrase of the week) and I just wish that I could make everything happy for you. Kiss Clayton for me and rub Jo for me. I love you and will see you on Sunday.

Rebecca said...

*I* appreciate your honesty. I think being vulnerable allows other people the freedom to do the same. I had/have many of the same wishes....

....I would always remind people that the 'healing' they were praying for might not look like what they expect.

....*gulp* I've been a little less tolerant of other peoples' minor conditions. REALLY. What's a headache compared to carrying a baby with a 'lethal' condition??

....I'm going to give myself a pedicure & a manicure. Hopefully tomorrow. I think pampering yourself a bit during these hard times gives a little lift to the spirit.

....I wish Olivia didn't have T18.

...I understand about not wishing away that last wish.

...Yes. When we face the really bad, then even the not so bad seems good, if that makes sense.

...I need my naps these days. Makes facing the day a little easier.

...Oh, Sweet Jesus, come quickly!

Sending some good {{hugs}} your way :>)

Simply Donna...... said...

You made me laugh, cry, think and be thankful for all I that I have.

You are an amazing person. Your faith will get you through this.

God is good all the time - if only everyone could see this.

Love ya!

Kenzie said...

Just thinking of you and praying for you guys- for your sweet Johanna and for your friends that commented here that have walked/are walking the same path. Praying for Courtney and their third precious miracle, for Rebecca and their hearts over the loss of their sweet Olivia, and of course for you! I just finished memorizing Philippians 4:6-7... (7) And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Love so much!