Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Yeah I Did It

I have a confession to make, and then an explanation.

Saturday evening(before the fantastic AL game) I was doing my quite time/Bible Study/Devotions/whatever your pet name is for getting alone with God and seeing what He has for me for the day. I do mine in the evening because that's the best time of day for me. I don't function well early in the morning, therefore I can't give God the appropriate time and attention He requires and deserves from me. Back on point, I was reading through my workbook and comparing to the appropriate scriptures. And then, the author of the study(no, I'm not telling you who or which study because I don't want to influence anyone) had the audacity to state that Job was a complainer. I was immediately outraged. Then I was outraged even more when my fantastic husband agreed with the author. How dare he not side with me(even if I happened to be wrong)? I couldn't believe that anyone would call Job a complainer! I may or may not still be a little offended about it(but God's working on me). And, I may or may not have opened that particular study since I closed it in a temper tantrum that any 3 year old would have been very proud of. I'm just being honest. I don't think anyone but Chad knows how really upset I was about this comment. I felt like Job had been wrongly accused, and by some strange extension I had been wrongly accused of complaining.

And then my husband(and possibly my parents at lunch on Sunday too, because I was still ranting about it then some 18 hours later) in his infinite wisdom pointed out again that Job was guilty of complaining. I did NOT want to hear that again. Now I was irate at the hubs for no reason, and irate at other people that had no association with this Bible study or anything else at all for that matter. I was just looking for somewhere to point my angry, emotional, rage.

After much more consideration yesterday and then some this morning, God has shown me that I am a complainer. I think that's why I was so mad at the author of the study. I'm not a complainer in the traditional sense of the word. I don't always complain about the little things, I just fix them if I can. I complain about complainers A LOT. I can't stand it(see I'm doing it even now). In my occupation I hear a lot of complaining. It just comes with working in the medical field. Hello, sick people.

Lately I have begun to compare Jo's issues and our current situation to everyone else, and in all of my self righteousness decided that our problems were worse than anyone elses. Therefore, I didn't have to offer Christ's love and compassion. Wrong again. I have had to spend some major time in prayer asking for forgiveness for both my complaining and for my sour attitude. I've always been of the opinion that God doesn't give us a free pass to be a totally rude person whenever life isn't going our way. Emotions, and all that they encompass are a part of life, and we have to use and embrace those emotions or we will go absolutely loony. Here's my advice to myself. The emotions are normal and actually healthy. God gave them to us to use, and to use for His glory. However, I have to keep them in check and make sure they are lined up with His will, and that they are in fact bringing Him glory and not detracting from His work.

OUCH!!!! I hope my lessons in life and humility bring you joy, and help you not to have to learn this lesson the way I did.


Joan Carr said...

All lessons we learn the hard way we never forget, just as when God works in our hearts we never forget it either. Remember the song He's Still Working on Me.....

Jamie Lynn said...

I love that. I never thought about using my emotions to bring Him glory!