Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Clayton's Story

Ya'll have regularly read about all the many different aspects and details of Johanna's story.  But Clayton has a story too. And very few people know Clayton's story.  We call Clayton our Samuel(as in Hannah and Samuel).  It's pretty awesome in its own right.  Wanna know?  I thought you did.

Chad and I married very young.  I was 19 and he was 20.  With that being said we knew that we did not want to have children immediately after we were married.  We felt it best to grow up a little and become adults.  In December of 2005 I unexpectedly(although not unwelcome) found out I was pregnant.  Chad and I were excited, over the moon.  Our excitement didn't last long though.  I miscarried at 7 weeks.  That was difficult but God's plan and timing in that situation is completely amazing.  Had that baby been born at term it would have been born in August of 2006.  In August of 2006 Chad had a lot of complications with this diabetes and for health reasons took a 6 month work sabbatical.  It was our desire for him to stay in school so I worked 2 jobs to support us while he recovered.  Had we had an infant this would not have been an option for our family.  We did realize that we felt we were ready for children and wanted to see what God had in stort for us.

In May 2007 we still had no baby.  I realize that's not a long time and many of ya'll have struggled much longer than we did.  Chad and I had just bought the house we currently live in and were doing some simple remodeling and giving this place a face lift. 

At the same time we were wondering if God was ever going to give us a child.  Also at this time the pastor at the church we attended at the time(that would be our transition church where God really worked in our lives and taught us a lot) started a series of sermons on the "Blessings of Brokenness".  One of the sermons in the series was about Hannah and her brokenness for God's will and a child.  I'm sure there was more to it but it's been 3 years and I can't remember all of it.  I am positive that God gave that message to our pastor just for me.  I had wanted a baby for so long for all the wrong reasons.  I don't say that to mean that if you are longing for a child and don't have one that your reasons are wrong.  I simply mean that my reasons and intentions were wrong.  I wanted a child so I could be a parent.  And while that's a great ambition it was all wrong for me. 

This is my interpretation of the message.  Hannah was broken over her desire for a child.  He husband had fathered many children by his other wife so she felt the problem was obviously with her.  Hannah had earnestly desired and prayed for a child for quite some time.  But when she gave that child, actually a son, back to God before He had ever given her a child, then she conceived.  Only once Hannah was broken could God use her.  That was me.  I had to be broken before God could use me in any way whether that was having children or not.  That day I asked the Lord for forgiveness for some attitudes that I indeed still struggle with(I'm slightly hard headed). 

I also told the Lord the desires of my heart for a child, specifically a son.  I prayed for a son specifically because there is a lack of Godly men in our culture.  Together Chad and I prayed that if God chose to bless our home with a little boy we would immediately turn him back over to God to be used as He chose.

I know this is long so I'll try to wrap it up.  All of this praying and healing and begging and breaking happened in May.  I believe it was the second Sunday but I'm not 100% sure.  I immediately had a new attitude about babies and children.  I now firmly believe that we don't raise children, we raise adults but that's a different post for a different day.  I stopped obscessing about having a baby and resigned myself to whatever God wanted.

My family normally vacations together every summer.  Late June 2007 we went to Savannah.  On a side note, you should totally go there if you've never been it's amazing.  After some interesting difficulties getting there we kinda chilled out on Monday.  I was incredibly tired but the trip to Savannah was very difficult and lengthy so I didn't think much about it.  But when I took a very long nap and I was still tired I began to wonder...........

Sure enough.  Chad and I were expecting our first child.  I knew that day we were having a boy.  God had answered our prayers immediately.  I was so amazed that He would answer so quickly.  On February 15th 2008 at 10:56am Clayton was born weighing 8lbs 2oz.  Clayton's story is decidely different than Johanna's but I felt like it was worth telling today.  I hope it encourage you if you're waiting for either a child or for an answer to a specific prayer.

Clayton's Verse
"For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him:  Therefore also I have lent him to the Lord; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the Lord
1 Samuel 1:27&28


Jules said...

Your story was an encouragement to me today. Thanks for sharing.

Journey of the George's said...

Thanks for sharing that Nikki. I think God gives us all a story to tell...sometimes we just have to recognize it. You are a strong person and an inspiration.

Mommy said...

and what a blessing he is. I am so thankful to be having a boy too. I prayed for him for bobby, of coarse, and that he could do some awesome things for the Lord. Aint God good to us! We are so thankful for clayton, and with 2 sisters I'm sure matthew will be to.

Pam said...

What a journey and what a blessing!!!!!!!
Left a litte treat for you at my blog!!!!!!!

Jamie Lynn said...

We learned about Hannah at camp once & it reminded me of you before I ever knew this story.

I was on vacation when I found out about him too! I was at Oak Island:) I screamed and jumped up and down on the peir!! hahaha.. silly me. Everyone was looking at me but I didn't care!

Love you!

Jennifer said...

love love love that verse and i also love your ...we're not raising children but raising adults. one of claytons little onesies that i have says "man in the making" and that had never really hit me as hard as when i found out i was having a son, the girls were my "babies" and landon is too, but someting is different about raising possibly someones husband and father and who knows what the Lord has planned for him to be. what an awsome responsibility and privilege we have been lended! love your story!

Holly said...

Thanks for sharing his story!!