Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Church Signs

I love me a little humor thrown in to my every day life.  That being said, I just love church signs.  I think they are so funny.  Here's a list of my faves.

  • Sign broken, come inside for message (I get the meaning, but this one always confuses me.  If the sign were truly broken then you wouldn't be able to put anything at all on it now would you.)
  • What's missing from CH  CH.....UR(The first few times I saw this line, I thought the sign maker must have had a seizure while hanging the letters and dropped a few.  I really didn't get it for a very long time)
  • Visitors Welcome, Members Expected(Uhm.........I've got nothing for this one)
  • Always remember that Hell is uncool(I'm assuming this one is trying to reach the Gen X and Y)
  • If you're wrinkled with burden.......come in for a Faith lift(and one free Botox injection in the fellowship hall immediately following the service)
  • Never throw dirt.....you always lose ground(unless you're trying to dig to China)
  • You try making something half this great in just 6 days(I personally think this one is hilarious)
  • Worship is a VERB(thank you Captian Obvious)
  • Soul Food served here(We got a pot of greens, black eyed peas, cream corn, sweet potato pie, cornbread, and fried chicken, all yours for a $7 donation)
  • Laugh a lot: Especially at yourself(Especially at church signs)
  • Happiness is an inside job(I really don't get this one)
  • Filling Station(Again I get the meaning, but I can only think of Exxon when I see this one.  Seriously, are there gas pumps out back because that would save me some time.)
  • Call 911........the church is on fire(hahahahahahahahahahahaha)
  • Jesus is coming .....are you REDE(get it red "E"....ready  That's clever........not)
  • Looking for a sign from God?  This might be it!(Or maybe not..............lay out that fleece Gideon)
  • Bring Bible, Scissors(This is seriously how the sign was written, and I seriously don't get it at all)
And since Christmas is swiftly approaching, here are few with a seasonal slant.
  • Jesus is the rizzle for the sizzle(Taking an urban twist)
  • Christmas Eve Program: Dancing with the Stars of Bethlehem (I'd like to see the dancing pair match up)
  • Midnight Service and Toga Party: B.Y.O.B.J(Bring Your On Baby Jesus) (I'm not sure that I want any part of a church sponsored Toga Party, I'll just use my imagination)
  • If you're one of the politically correct we hope you sharpen the tip of your holiday tree and fall on it(I'm pretty sure the church sign maker at this church was NOT asked to resume their position the following year.)
I hope you enjoyed our little renezvous into church sign humor.  Good times.


Holly said...

Oh my gosh, that last one! hahahahaha!

tabbyrabbit said...

How neat is this. I was searching funny church signs and came across your page and I seen where you were from. I'm from Morganton too. I like your church signs on here. There are some good ones. Just by chance I ran by your page. How neat is that. I can't belive you are from Morganton!!! I go to The Rock Church here. Good to meet you.