Monday, November 9, 2009

How are You?

That's such a loaded question right now.  Dad has a funny answer that goes something like, "my parents were therefore I are".  OK, so it's much more funny when he says it, possibly because he says it correctly and I'm just attempting a horrible imitation.

In all seriousness(or whatever happens on this blog) I've been asked this a lot in the past weeks and even months.  Sometimes the answer comes easily, and sometimes the answer is the most complicated thing in the world.  Since I don't know "how" I am, I guess I could share "where" I am.

I have the incessant desire to stay ridiculously busy.  Physically, I'm healing from the c-section really well.  It takes time, but that is doing great.  I still have to rest a lot.  Mom and I have started trying to learn to save money at the grocery store by couponing.  This takes some time, so I can stay busy doing that.  I've almost completed my Christmas shopping list.  I'm ready when the time comes to buy.  I've never been this ready for Christmas in my life.  My house is the cleanest it has been in months.  Chad has done a great job keeping things going, but it just isn't the same as doing it myself(I'm Type A remember).  The laundry is caught up.  And I'm well acquainted with everyone on Food Network.  Usually I would say there aren't enough hours in the day to get it all done.  And usually that's the case.  But right now I seem to have extra time.

So, I'm adjusting to a new season in my life.  It's the season after sending your child back to the Father.  It's the season of relearning how to function.  It's the season to gain a new appreciation of the fragility of life.  It's the season of taking extra time to stack blocks with Clayton.  It's the new season of trying to fit into my clothes again.  It's the new season of crying over everything and nothing all at the same time, and not being able to explain to anyone what you're really crying about, but knowing that you're just missing your baby.  And then all at the same time praising the Lord that your baby is with Him and free from this world.  If you aren't confused now, then just bless your heart.

I have no idea "how" I'm doing.  You would have to ask Chad to get an honest answer. Go ahead and ask him, he'll tell you the truth.  Chad doesn't mince words........ever.  But, this is "where" I am.  Learning and experiencing so many new things.  I'm still thankful for what the Lord is doing.


Jamie Lynn said...

I wasn't confused.
Bless my heart.
You have to be intelligent to understand you...
I joke:)

You were right about Chad, no beating around the bushes there.

Love ya.

Julie said...

Have you seen this incredible sight??? I thought about you right when I saw it and thought how wonderful it would be to see a flower for Johanna. Check it out:


Emma and Company said...

Praying and thinking of you a lot!!

Allison said...

Knowing "where" you are is a step in the right direction. You are dealing with everything so well and I am so proud of you! I think of you every single day- even if I dont comment! and Im glad you update us on what is going on in your life! Love ya!

Holly said...

It's hard to describe sometimes how you're doing. Sometimes I still don't know how to answer.

Kelly said...

Nikki, you are such a precious lady. Thank you for being honest and real!
Love & Prayers,