Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Have a New Husband by Friday!

 Yesterday Clayton and I decided to hit up the ESC and try our hand.  It was a success(I hope). We were only there for about 15 minutes and the very kind receptionist assured me everything was taken care of.  And once again everyone believes I am who I say I am.

On the way to the hottest building in Burke County Clayton and I(mainly just I because Clayton was pointing out every single solitary truck we passed) were listening to "Focus on the Family".  They had an author by the name of Dr. Kevin Leman on today's broadcast.  He has written many books but the topic of today's broadcast was on his book "Have a New Husband by Friday". I didn't get to finish listening to the broadcast so I came home and finished it  online after Clayton went to bed.  It's amazing.  I would definitely recommend listening to it yourself.

I can't just sit and listen to anything.  I am after all a woman and that means I am constantly multi-tasking.  Last night was no exception.  As I listened to the broadcast I messed around on their site and ran across this amazing artical about being a successful couple.  I thought I would share it with you.

  1. Happiness is not the most important thing. Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.
  2. Couples discover the value in just showing up. When things get tough and couples don't know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
  3. If you do what you always do, you will get same result. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.
  4. Your attitude does matter. Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.
  5. Change your mind, change your marriage. How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly.
  6. The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.
  7. You can change your marriage by changing yourself. Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope – almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.
  8. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the "feel good side of marriage." Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple's vows of commitment: "For better or for worse" – when it feels good and when it doesn't.
  9. Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears. Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges, bringing up the past and remembering that they married an imperfect person – and so did their spouse.
  10. A crisis doesn't mean the marriage is over. Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It's out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.
There is nothing new about any of these tips.  I just felt like repeating them.  I especially liked #10.  If Johanna, Trisomy 18, and the last year have taught 1 thing(they've actually taught me many) in relation to my marriage it would be this.  Only together can any couple weather any storm, whatever the storm may be.  Chad and I tried to do it alone after we found out that JoJo was sick and dying.  It didn't work.  Only after we released our own independence and with the Lord's help leaned on each other, did we learn a new level of love and intimacy for each other.  And that has been true for any "crisis" in our marriage.  They have all made our marriage stronger.  When Chad's truck had the hiccups yesterday(it's fine now, thanks everybody for asking) it was no big deal in light of our past experiences.

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

PS I'm not really sure why the text at the top is BOLD, but I couldn't get it fixed.  Crazy Blogger!!


Lucy and Ethel said...

This is great!

I learned about Dr. Leman years ago when I read The Birth Order Book. Loved it!!!

Thanks for sharing, and glad you are who you've claimed to be :)


Jules said...

Great post! I've seen that book in the Christian book stores, but haven't read it. The tips for couples was an interesting read. thanks for sharing. :o)

Anonymous said...

thanks! i needed that :)

Griswold Fun said...

Thank you for posting - what a great read!

Holly said...

I think the points you shared from the article are very valid!!

Kelly said...

Loved reading this! Thanks for sharing!!